Updated: Sep 10, 2020
We constantly seek assurances and guarantees in a world that doesn’t provide either.
How can we deal with the discomfort of uncertainty to authentically manage patience and not knowing, especially when our disappointment, fear and frustration have us judge our self, others and the context?
Many years ago I was ‘losing my mind’ over a lease agreement that ‘was taking too long!’ When I expressed my frustration to a friend, he calmly responded “Every delay is in your favour.” My impatience and ego didn’t want to hear anyone’s ‘advice’. I was stuck in my judgment of the estate agent who was ‘wasting my time’.
Nevertheless, a very short while later, I learnt that the agent with whom I had been dealing was no longer in the employ of that rental agency. Feeling even more annoyed, I assumed that “because of them, I have now lost the place!” Now here is the truth of my friend’s good advice. When I contacted the agency’s owner to voice my annoyance, unexpectedly she told me that she had an even nicer place for me, in the same building, at a lower cost! Sure enough, when I viewed the alternative place, it was indeed fantastic! The delay, due to realties and choices beyond my control, had worked in my favour.
Based upon this experience, every time I experience disappointment, frustration or impatience, especially for things and experiences I really, really want, I quickly remind myself that the delay is in my favour. And, equally, it’s not all about me any way!
Daniel Christian Wahl articulates it beautifully, “In order to befriend uncertainty, we need to let go of our need for prediction and control.”